Queering the Triathlete (and Other Discomforts)

A Melancholy Zebra determined to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.


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8 Rookie Mistakes of A Marathon Swim

Back in Septembe of 2016, I began one morning with my feet in Lanai sand (or rather some dubious mud and staring at a stretch of weird brown water.) Several hours later, I crawled my dank and dripping weeds out onto Maui sand and then did a celebratory leap off a cliff.

I’ve done endurance events before. I’ve done Ironmans and Half-s, marathon and half-s, long bikes and even longer hikes to the tops of mountains and back down again, but nothing compared to that much time in the water. The water is unforgiving and will beat the crap out of you in ways you never expected, and somehow it will always be home.  Continue reading


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Metta Practice as a Borderline

Many different sorts of meditation retreats are available to the sadistic folks who want to spend several days alone with their own mind: vipassana, jhana, zen… the list goes on, and some are more specific than others.

For example, I attended a retreat this week focused especially on cultivating metta. Translation: Love Everything.

Well, it was 99.99% successful! Continue reading


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I Hear You, and Thank You For Your Input. Now @*#& Off.

I gave my first dharma talk today, the substance of which was:

“Hello, fear. I hear you. Thank you for your input. Now please eff off.”

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“My Life Sucks Worse Than Yours”

My favorite-song-of-the-month starts like this: “My God is better than yours/ And the walls in my house are so thick/ I hear nothing at all.”

I’ve noticed that trend in the world, but I’ve noticed another disturbing trend:

“My suffering is worse than yours.” 

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The Least Snarky Moment of My Life

In homage to the flower photo and retreat-theme of the last post, I’d like to share the moment when I burst into tears over an ant.

An ant.

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Lessons from the Psych Ward

Tonight, I want to share something I wrote maybe a year ago. It’s an excerpt from an expository piece I wrote on my time in a South Carolina psych ward. I don’t expect any trigger warnings in here, but if you’ve been committed before, take some care.

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