Anyone who has undergone a DBT skills class has no doubt heard of the dreaded DEAR MAN. (Oh, excuse me, the DEAR MAN GIVE FAST.) For those lucky suckers who have never sat through the countless worksheets that make up DBT, DEAR MAN is a mnemonic device meant to help you ask people for shit. Allow me to say that it is unnecessarily complicated and generally annoying as hell. Here’s why, in an example. Continue reading
I gave my first dharma talk today, the substance of which was:
“Hello, fear. I hear you. Thank you for your input. Now please eff off.”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll call you this weekend.”
You smile a little to yourself, pleased that you and Cool Person will finally get the chance to hang out and that you’ll certainly be getting out of your apartment this weekend. When your pool friends ask how your weekend went, you’ll respond, “It was great!” instead of the usual forced smile and half-shrug with “I just relaxed, watched some TV, caught a breather” when you know damn well that you’ve been taking that breather for quite some time.
So you keep your phone a little closer all week, but it refuses to buzz. You send an innocuous text on Thursday afternoon of: “Hey! So, what are you thinking for the weekend?” No buzz. Not wanting to be a pain in the ass, you wait. It isn’t until Sunday afternoon that you give up and throw some pizza bites in the oven.
I have what some like to call a Resting Bitchface. When I’m simply sitting around in no mood in particular, I look like I’m brooding. I look like something is up. I look pissed.
In frustration a few years ago I asked a friend why no one hit on me. Granted, that did not and does not bother me much, but I was still curious why it didn’t happen. I’m reasonably attractive. I have reasonable sized tits. What’s up? He told me: ” you just look… intimidating.” Answer: you have a Resting Bitchface.
I have little to no awareness of how my face appears when I’m not paying attention to it.
Well, as of this blog’s maiden post, I have gained three followers. Dual response: 1. Great! Be an influence! 2. Well that’s just peachy. Now you can’t cock this up, you know.
The topic of the day: May I Mindfully Judge?